My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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