I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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