well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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