the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
