Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize