It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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