today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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