Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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