he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize