Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Floor bacon is actually really good
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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