I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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