and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
