Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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