Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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