if i can run in heels then i can drive
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I want to fling myself into the sun
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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