what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
