i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
