I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize