There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
