Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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