weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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