His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
