ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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