Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
