Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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