p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
