the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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