Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize