But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
