why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
