some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man