Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.