You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.