so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
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The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES