Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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