Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
