problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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