just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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