Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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