college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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