wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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