I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize