You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
