How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Randomize
