I think my vagina is haunted
I feel great
I just peed on a car
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
