So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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