dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize