i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
