she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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