Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
