why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
