i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
