and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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