none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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