So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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