i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
