He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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