if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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