so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
