the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
