I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
