Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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