Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
