you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
