I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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