just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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