I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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