You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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