i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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