do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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