It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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