I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
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How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
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Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize