From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
