i just had sex bonerless
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
